Let's Play Catch Up

Holy cow what a year! I haven't blogged at all in the last year mainly because it has been a crazy one. So now you get one long blog post updating you on all that has happened. Where to start......

Evelyn

I left off posting about Evelyn's wild arrival into this world. So it is only fair to start with an update on her.
Evelyn came home from the NICU after 73 days on November 15, 2018. She weighed 7lbs 3oz. She came home with a feeding tube as she was still struggling to take her bottles. We were blessed with a Neonatalogist who wanted to see Evelyn home and was confident in our ability to care for her. The NICU was tough. I went almost every day ( I missed three days when I came down with a cold). It has been a year and I still get anxious and choke up thinking about that time of our lives.
Once she was home, life became a blur. John had a tough time adjusting to a new baby. I was struggling to adjust to two kids and one being a medically needy one as well.But we somehow made it through. Evelyn has grown and developed well. She has been meeting all of her goals! She meets with an occupational therapist once a month as well as had several NICU follow-ups and other follow-ups with different specialists. Overall, her progress is fantastic! I will have to do a one year old post for her and go into more detail. She is a happy sweet girl who loves to be in on the action. You can find her crawling as fast as she can after me or John. She is standing and hopefully will be walking soon.

John

John had a tough adjustment once Evelyn came home. He was used to having a grandma here solely focused on him. That changed quite quickly. When she came home, he went from having all the attention to no grandma and having to share Mom. Needless to say, he got a lot more screen time during those first several months than anticipated.
Overall, he and Evelyn have a good relationship. I think he wishes she were bigger because he loves to wrestle. Sometimes, he can't help himself and will try to wrestle her anyway. Which usually ends up with someone in tears. We are working on it. John is also learning many life lessons in sharing. Haha. It is good for both him and Evelyn. I will also do a birthday post for my sweet boy.

Zac

Like me, Zac has been hanging on for dear life the last year. Work keeps him busy with travel a few times a month as well as big projects that take up a lot of time.
He set some pretty great running goals this year and has done amazing! He ran an 18 mile trail race in July at Snowbird and did great! He also has been pacing several half marathons. It makes me happy to see him excel at something he loves. He has also stepped up in a big way this year at home. He has been a true partner in everything this last year.

Katelyn

I think one reason that I haven't blogged this whole year is because life has been incredibly overwhelming. It has just recently calmed down enough to where I feel like I might actually make it out alive. haha. When Evelyn was born I was still working part time and just about to head into the busy season of my job. That is another reason why the first six months were a blur. I officially put in my notice in March and then officially quit working in June/July. I was also in the RS presidency at church and was released last month.
Adjusting to two kids was extremely hard. Also, bringing home a new baby was isolating and lonely. Evelyn has always struggled with eating which means that I can't really leave the house with her for longer than an hour or two. Days were long and I was exhausted. I managed to train for a half marathon in there somewhere. Training became and escape for me. A few hours each week that were just for me. All in all, I am just happy to be on the other side of this year. I think this upcoming year will be much better.

And now for a few pictures.....

Meet Evelyn Kate Vidmar!

Writing out this post is a lot harder than I thought it would be. But it needs to written. I need to remember this time in my life as well as I need to express all the many emotions that are constantly running through my head.

The last month has been by far been the hardest month of my life. Nothing can quite describe the how scary and emotional it has been.  

September 3rd was John's 2nd birthday! I had spent the weekend getting everything ready so John could have a great birthday. We had a little party that was school bus themed because John has been obsessed with school buses lately. I made him a school bus cake and we had some friends over for a little BBQ. We played with Hot Wheels tracks and presents from his grandparents. We decided to end the night by going to the park down the street to play before bedtime. 

On the walk back from the park, I felt my first contraction. I wasn't too worried. I figured I had stretched myself too thin that day and just needed to drink some water and rest. Because that is what the nurse had told me to do at every single OB appointment. But shortly after getting home I experienced another and another and another. After having 4 painful contractions in 20 minutes I decided to call the on call doctor. But as I was calling I knew that I was in preterm labor and that we needed to get to hospital. 

I was terrified but I still was thinking that once we got to the hospital that they would give me some meds, the contractions would stop and I would be home in a few hours. I think the nurse in labor and delivery was thinking the same thing because she didn't seem too concerned. We didn't have time to drop John off with anyone so along he came with us to the hospital. He was so cute and would copy my breathing with each contraction. 

Finally, the nurse came in to check me to see if I was dilated. I knew something was wrong the minute she checked me. The expression on her face changed and so did her demeanor. 

My bag of waters was bulging so much that she couldn't even find my cervix. She looked at me and calmly told me she was calling the doctor and that I was most likely going to be having a baby that night. 

I broke down. This wasn't supposed to happen. I am only 28 weeks along. I am supposed to have 3 more months. My pregnancy was low risk and there had been no warning signs that I would go into preterm labor. This was not supposed to be happening. 

The next couple of hours were surreal. I was wheeled immediately to a delivery room as nurses and doctors rushed around giving me different medications to help this little baby be ready to enter the world 12 weeks early. They were also giving me medications to try and get my contractions to stop which made me super sick. The contractions were so much more painful and close together than I remember with John. His labor started out so slow and mild. Little Evelyn's came fast and hard almost from the beginning. I was supposed to stay still because they didn't want to risk my water breaking. 

They didn't dare give me an epidural yet because they were discussing what the best option would be. Should they life flight me before I deliver to another hospital or should I deliver there and then have the baby life flighted? Because Evelyn was so early she was still breech which means that I would be having an emergency c-section. I was in complete shock. I couldn't believe that this was really happening. Sometimes I still can't believe that this all really happened. 

The on call Obgyn came in and was able to do an ultrasound. I was dilated to 3cm but my contractions were still coming hard and fast. All they could do was wait to see if my body responded to the medications.   

I remember poor little John had such a concerned look on his little face. He had no idea what was happening but he knew it wasn't good. A kind nurse took him out of the room and let him watch videos on her phone. Sometime during the night, Zac called our neighbors who dropped everything to come get John and take him home. I vaguely remember getting a priesthood blessing from the same neighbor. I had so many worries running through my head. I remember thinking of all the things I had planned and that needed to get done. I remember thinking about John and how I needed to let my neighbors know what his bedtime routine was, where his favorite blankie was and what were his favorite snacks. 

Zac handled it all so calmly. He called my parents and his parents. He called my sister and his sister so that they could come be there with me. With both of our parents living out of state, I was so so grateful to have my sister, Elise, and my sister in law, Emma, at the hospital that night. 

After four hours of contractions, the OB decided to do another ultrasound to see if I had dilated more or if I had stayed the same. The second I rolled onto my back, my contractions kicked up even harder. In the ultrasound, it was easy to see I was completely dilated. The medications didn't work and there was no time to move me to another hospital. I was wheeled into the operation room and finally given a spinal (short term epidural basically). I was awake for the c-section but was in and out of consciousness. I remember the doctor giving instructions and stating everything that was happening. I remember him saying that Evelyn had been born but I wasn't conscious enough for it to really register. 

In what seemed minutes, it was over, my baby girl had been born, I hadn't even gotten to see her or touch her yet. Her life was on the line. Evelyn Kate Vidmar entered the world at 11:51pm weighing 3lbs 1oz on September 3rd, 2018, exactly two years after her older brother. 

Zac went with Evelyn as the life flight baby team and nurses/doctors worked to get her stabilized enough to fly. I was wheeled back to a recovery room where Emma was waiting for me. 

I then learned that as all of this was happening, the birth mother, that my older sister, Elise had been in contact with just that weekend, had gone into labor herself. Elise's little adopted baby girl was born just 40 minutes after my little Evelyn Kate. I feel like these two sweet spirits were meant to come to earth at the same time. 

The life flight team brought Evelyn by my room for a few minutes before they took her to another hospital. The feeling of watching your baby be taken away from you and you not knowing when you will get to see her again is heart wrenching.
While she was being delivered, there was a neonatologist from IMC (Intermountain Medical Center) on video chat with the doctors delivering her at Riverton instructing them what they needed to do. They got Evelyn safely to IMC and were able to get her stable and settled into her new home for the next 2 1/2 months.
That first week was a blur. I have never experienced such emotional highs and lows in my life. I was in shock afterwards. I was not prepared at all for what just happened. We didn't even have a crib for her yet. In fact, her room was currently the junk room and was piled high. I was so scared for Evelyn and her health. I was so mad at myself. Why couldn't my body do what it was supposed to do and protect my baby until she was fully developed? I was sad that I didn't get to experience the last couple months of pregnancy. I was worried about John and how he was going to handle all the changes and how I was going to care for him and sweet Evelyn. And honestly, a month later I still feel all of those feelings.
It has been a rough month. But we have a month behind us and that is what matters.
I have always been used to being the one that tries to offer service and help to those in need. I have never really been the one in need of help until now. It has been extremely humbling and inspiring to be on the receiving end of such thoughtful acts of love and service towards my little family. So many people have called, texted, messaged expressing their desire to help and that they are praying for us. Friends, neighbors, and family have brought us food, produce from their gardens, mowed our lawn, moved furniture, watched John, given us hospital food vouchers and so much more. I am so grateful! And those that haven't brought us something physically have offered kind words of encouragement and heartfelt prayers. I tell you what, if you ever say that thoughts and prayers do nothing, then you have never been the recipient of many thoughts and prayers. They are felt and they are felt strongly. There are days when I know I should be an emotional mess but I'm not. I feel peace and calmness and I know that it is coming as a direct result from the prayers of others on my behalf. I also learned that our stake had a special fast for Evelyn and a few other people in the stake. How can I ever adequately express my gratitude?
I feel strongly that one of the reasons that Evelyn came early is because she and her cousin, Isla, needed to come to earth together. I don't know what life has planned for these two sweet girls but there is something special there.
Evelyn is doing so well considering her age. She is gradually improving each day. Right now, she just needs to rest and grow.  She finally reached 4lbs just in time for her one month birthday! With growth will come the other milestones of getting off of oxygen assistance, learning to eat by mouth, and maintaining body temperature. She is cocooned in an incubator that keeps her warm and protected. She has several different monitors and sensors attached to her constantly tracking her progress. I get to hold her each day and it is the best couple of hours of my day.
There are angels on earth and they are my mom and mother-in-law. Zac's mom was here for the first three weeks and then my mom is here for the next three weeks. They have stepped right in and have been taking wonderful care of John and myself. They have made me dinner, cleaned my house, and loved on John while I am away. It has been such a huge relief to have them here. What would I do without mothers?
The nurses and doctors at IMC have all been amazing. They have been so kind and understanding. Each day a team of 5 or so medical professionals meet to discuss her progress and goals. She truly has some of the best care that this world can provide.
We have a long road ahead of us. We should expect Evelyn to be in the NICU until her due date which was Thanksgiving Day, November 22nd. It seems so far away. But I try to just focus on the day at hand. One day at time, that is all I can do.

Evelyn Kate Vidmar 

In active labor, trying to make sense of everything

Getting to touch Evelyn for the first time 

Seeing my baby girl before her first helicopter ride 

Elise getting the call from Isla's birth mom that she was in labor. 

Getting to hold her for the first time one week later 

Family of Four! 

Daddy getting to hold Evelyn for the first time

One month old today! 

IVF Round Two

In December, Zac and I felt that we were ready to add to your family. However, we knew and know that it will never be easy for us to do that. We knew that we would have to do IVF again. But, thankfully, we had four frozen embryos leftover from the cycle we had John.
I had gone off birth control several months earlier. I was only on birth control to help manage my Endo symptoms. But I knew that I needed a few months to let my body get back to normal before jumping into the world of infertility, drugs, and hormones again.
I was ready for another pregnancy and child but I didn't know if was ready for the rollercoaster that is infertility. But I decided to call the U of U anyways. When I called, they initially told me that all their doctors were booked through April! It was at that moment that I realized that I was ready and I didn't want to have to wait that long to just see a doctor. Luckily, there was a cancellation for the next week. This was a two weeks before Christmas.
We saw our IVF doctor and talked about timeline, etc. It is kind of funny, actually. Who else sits down with their husband, the doctor and a nurse with their calendar to plan when will be the best time to try and get pregnant? Haha. We finally settled on a timeframe of having the embryo transfer the first week of March.
I started hormone shots and pills the beginning of February. The drug protocol is much easier in a frozen cycle than a fresh, which I was so grateful for. The only downside of a frozen cycle is that instead of using a progesterone cream, you have to do a progesterone in oil (PIO) shot.....in the hip......with a big needle.....through 10 weeks of pregnancy.
The transfer went smoothly and then it was time for the waiting.....you have to wait 12 days before they can do a pregnancy test. Because I didn't have to take any HCG in my med protocol, I could have taken a home pregnancy test. But I couldn't do it. I have taken way too many of those and they had all come back negative so I didn't want to risk it.
I went in to the clinic early Sunday morning to have my blood drawn and the nurse told me they would call me in the next few hours to tell me the results. We had stake conference that day. We purposely sat in one of the overflow rooms so that I could check my phone easily. At around 11am, my phone rings. We rush out of the room and end up in the kitchen of the church building because it is one of the only quiet places. And for the second time, I got to hear the words "You're pregnant!".
Miracle baby number two is due on Thanksgiving Day (November 22nd, 2018).
After that, I was still not out of the woods. I had to continue taking an estrogen pill and my PIO shots. They got easier the longer I did them. I made Zac give them to me at first, but Zac ended up having a business trip half way through so I had to toughen up and do it myself. My hips ended up numb after the first couple of shots so by the end I couldn't even feel them. I still have a few numb spots and the injection sites are still a little sore. Hopefully, it wears off soon.
But those shots and any discomfort of going through IVF is 100% worth it. My heart is so full! Just two and half years ago, I never thought that I would be so blessed to have one child let alone two! This baby is truly a miracle. Modern medicine is a miracle!
Heavenly Father really does care and look out for each and everyone of us. With both IVF rounds I have asked Zac to give me a Priesthood blessing before the transfer. And both times, he has given the sweetest most comforting blessings. Each time, he was blessed me that the treatment will work. If that isn't a testimony that God does communicate to us and cares for us, I don't know what else is.
We find out the gender of our little baby next week and I can't wait! I will be so happy whether it is a boy or a girl. People ask me all the time what gender I want. I personally think it is a silly question because no matter the gender, I love this little baby with all my heart.

82 Shots

January and February

Okay, I am really behind on blogging! I hope I can even remember what we did in January and February. Haha. 

January and February were crazy busy months for me. I am incharge of an education conference every February and by incharge I mean I handle all the advertising, sign-ups, venue, food, etc. This year there were approx. 350 engineers that attended plus an additional 50 vendors. It was crazy. I am so glad that it is over with for this year. 

I do enjoy my job but I am starting to feel a little burned out. It is a constant battle of trying to balance my job, spending enough time with John, and home responsibilities. I never seem to be able to caught up on any of them. 

We had a fairly mild January and February with a little snow mixed in. But overall, it was warmer and drier than last year. John and I made good use of the nice days and he got to really experience snow this year! 

One of my favorite parts of being a parent is getting to watch your kid discover things for the first time, like snow. John really quite liked playing in it. Here are some pictures (mostly of John) of what we have been up too. 

John loves to play under the sink in the bathroom while I get ready in the morning. 

I didn't want to get him all dressed up to go outside in the snow so we brought the snow inside! He loved it! 

John loves to climb into things. Whether it is the dryer, under the sink or a box John will try to fit in it. :) 

Haircut! This was actually his second haircut. 

John LOVED these bunny ears! He would wear them almost every day. Haha.

John Learns How to Walk!!!!

John has always been just a little behind with development. Nothing to really worry about because he is continually progressing. So it was no surprise that it took him until 16 months to walk independently. He took a few steps between Grandma Vidmar and Emma on Christmas Eve but other than that hadn't seemed too interested. He was really great at couch surfing and pushing things around but would't steps by himself.
Once we got back from our Christmas Vacation, John and I started to really work on it. I would prop him up on the couch and then sit a few feet away and he would take one or two steps. We would do this everyday, until............Thursday, January 18th! We were doing out usual practice. However, this time I kept scooting back to encourage him to go a little farther.
Finally something clicked and he walked right past me! He was so proud of himself! It was the cutest!
He now walks all over the place. But still falls down a ton. The poor guy. Hopefully his balance improves soon. :)

California Christmas Part Two

The day after Christmas, Grandma and Grandpa Vidmar volunteered to watch the grandkids while the siblings went out. We decided to go down to San Diego and out to brunch. Afterwards, Zac and I got to play the tour guides since we lived there. I love going back! It is so familiar. Everytime I am back in San Diego I wonder why in the world we moved away. Haha.

Anyways, we took Zac's siblings to La Jolla Cove and watched the sea lions. Then we headed over to the UTC mall. Unfortunately, I got really sick while at the mall. I had started a new medication and it made me super nauseous. So I ended up throwing up in the middle of the mall. Just a little embarrassing, at least Zac was wise enough to go get me a bag earlier in the day, but still embarrassing. Haha. It was still a fun outing with Zac's siblings.
That evening, we headed down to the Pier for family pictures. It is a huge perk to have a photographer in the family! They turned out beautiful! 

The next day was DISNEYLAND! I usually love Disneyland but the week between Christmas and New Years is not the time to go. It was unbelievable crowded and to top it off a transformer blew so half of the park was without power. This meant the park was at full capacity with only half the food, half the bathrooms and half the rides. Surprisingly, we still made it on quite a few rides. And I finally got to try a Dole Whip and it was DELICIOUS!
John didn't sleep well the night before and then we didn't end up leaving the park until close to midnight. I was also still trying to figure out my new meds so I wasn't feeling well. I had a bit of a melt down in the park. I felt bad because I was supposed to be enjoying it. But sometimes the most perfectly planned outings can turn out to not be a lot of fun. John had fun on the rides and loved to people watch. It will be fun to take him back someday when he is older. :)

Thankfully, the next day was planned a relax day. I got to sleep in and then all the girls went out to lunch and got our nails done. It was perfect recoup day from the crazy DisneyLand day. We went to the beach in the afternoon and enjoyed the beautiful warm CA weather.

Our last full day in CA we had a beach day! The boys loved it! I got smart this time and made John his own little pool to splash around in. He loved it! That evening, we had a fire on the beach and roasted marshmallows. It was a perfect end to a wonderful week. I can't thank my in-laws enough for spoiling us so much.